My adventure on the big island of Hawaii included three days of bicycling. I am not a cyclist. It’s never been a part of my exercise, expertise, or daily experience. I know how to ride a bike, but I prefer to use my feet to walk. The enticement of having an e-bike at my disposal made the prospect more palatable.
I had prior unsettling experiences with an e-bike, so I wasn’t entirely sure this was a good idea. On a family trip to Europe, we had signed up to ride bicycles with a tour guide through Paris. As soon as I mounted and pedaled my e-bike, it took off and I crashed into the curb. Later, we came to an area where a crowd had gathered. I could tell that I was going to either hit an elderly Indian gentleman or a tree. I chose the tree. The most scary fall happened in the middle of a heavily trafficked intersection in downtown Paris. But I completed the tour and even had an enjoyable bike ride in Parma, Italy later in the trip, albeit on a regular bicycle.
So I entered this bicycling adventure in Hawaii with some trepidation. I hadn’t really prepared for it, knowing that I was in good physical shape, and I knew how to ride a bike. My family encouraged me to try one of the rental e-bikes around town, remembering my Parisian mishaps, but I never got around to it. I did purchase a pair of padded bike shorts and padded gloves. That was going to have to suffice.
I was issued my e-bike on my second day with the organized tour. I was not the only one who chose an e-bike, and there were others who weren’t experienced cyclists. At least I would not be alone, as I feared I would be greatly outnumbered by the “real” cyclists.
We were given verbal instructions and got to test out our bikes in the parking lot and driveway of the hotel. These bikes were several grades above the bicycle I had in Paris. There were four power settings as well as ten gears, allowing me to find the most comfortable pace. These bikes aren’t entirely electric; they are ‘assisted,’ meaning one must pedal in order to power the thing. The higher settings delivered more forward thrust.
Once I was comfortable, I remembered that I love speed. Of course I do! I own a Miata for goodness sakes. So zooming up hills on the highest assist speed, then coasting downhill was exhilarating. I got a little nervous when I thought about crashing at these speeds, so I tempered my need for speed when that fear overcame me.
And yes, I did crash. Once. But not because of speed. It had been raining, and the roads were slick. When I turned into the hotel parking lot, the bike shot out from under me. Thank goodness for the helmet because my head bounced once on the pavement. Other than a few bruises on my legs and being shaken, I was fine.
I got back on my bike the next day without any mishap. Two days later, we had the opportunity to ride nineteen, thirty, or forty miles. We didn’t have to decide ahead of time which distance we would ride. We could stop at any time or at the designated end-points. I had a partner for most of this day, but she was behind me, and I had no way of knowing if she was still back there unless I stopped to look. My partner stopped at nineteen miles, but I was still good to go. However, now I was alone. That was a little disconcerting for sure. This stretch was along a highly trafficked two lane highway with wide shoulders, so it felt safe and dangerous at the same time, but I persevered and completed the thirty miles.
I am proud of myself for facing down my fear and just getting on the bicycle. Pushing through a fear lets you know what you are capable of. If you can do something that is scary, you can face the next unknown or fear with more confidence. Fear keeps us from fully engaging in life and teaches us things about ourselves if we pay attention.
Is courage the opposite of fear? Maybe not. Courage relies on the same energy as fear. It’s the energy I used when I first got on the bike. I gave myself a pep talk and just made myself do it. There was still adrenaline, a fast heart rate, and sweaty palms—just how I feel when I’m scared. My desire to experience Hawaii on a bicycle over-rode the fear I had, but I had to overcome the fear by force of will.
Maybe the true opposite of fear is peace. Being at peace with a situation, staying calm, and breathing into our fear allows us to see the moment more clearly. Yes, there are times when we should be scared, but irrational fears don’t need to rule us if we allow peace to enter.