I’ve been doing this solo travel thing for a while now—eight years or so. Yes, one of the greatest disappointments of my husband’s illness and eventual death was the loss of our shared dream to travel together. Though I no longer tear up at the airport when I see older couples, that was a hurdle I had to overcome.
These days, it’s not that I prefer to travel solo, it’s that if I want to travel, going solo allows me to do so on my own terms. It is easier for one person, me, to pick up and go than it is to coordinate with even one other person. So if I get the itch to go, I go.
I started small with short drives to either the mountains or the beach for a long weekend. I still do these types of trips when I get itchy. It satisfies my desire to look at something other than the interior of my house, or when another hike in the same forests just won’t do it. I enjoy planning these small trips, and now I include small towns and cities to explore, staying in interesting hotels or tiny homes, finding breweries and good food along the way. I usually throw in a hike or two.
Bigger solo journeys take more planning. Looking back at my major trips, I realize that they were mostly opportunities that I didn’t plan, but rather, I jumped at. Someone sent a link. Someone else emailed me. A former trip leader offered a new adventure. My travel agent sent me a trip she was planning. A study group invited its members on a pilgrimage. These were easy “yes’s” on my part. I didn’t seek these out; they just fell in my lap, and I leapt at the chance.
I realize that I am in a time of my life when I can say “yes” to opportunities that were unthinkable when I worked and was a caregiver. I am a little amazed at myself for being this spontaneous. It wasn’t my usual mode of operation as a physician, mother, wife, then caregiver. I had obligations, and a good routine made things run smoothly. There was no room to jump. Everything had to be exquisitely planned. Maybe that’s why I’m loving this freedom. It just feels so, well, freeing.
My recent two week trip to Hawaii was a combination of jumping and planning. Back May, I signed up for a Backroads* trip to the Canadian Rockies, but they had to cancel on me because of a lack of single rooms. I was so determined to try my first Backroads trip that I went to the catalogue again and found the Hawaii adventure on the big island. It was a five day trip which sounded very short in duration, especially considering the time it would take to get there and back. In my Hawaii vacation dreams, I had always considered visiting only the big island and the much smaller island of Kauai, the “Garden Island.”
So I secured a spot with Backroads’ Hawaiian multi-adventure for late June, then undertook the task of adding my own leg to Kauai and extending time on the big island after the group portion of the trip. In late May, less than a month before my planned departure, I booked a flight to Kauai, a VRBO condo, a Turo car, a helicopter ride, and a boating and snorkeling excursion. Then I booked a flight from Kauai to the big island, a hotel room before meeting up with the group, a VRBO townhouse for after the Backroads portion, another Turo car, and a return flight back home. It was a lot of work, but it all worked out, even relatively last minute.
Looking back, this was successful because I chose the destination with care. I don’t feel comfortable (yet) traveling solo to a country where English isn’t the predominant language. Hawaii was somewhere that I wanted to go, and the desire to try a Backroads adventure aligned. I could do something like this again, combining a group trip with a solo one before or after. Maybe Alaska, Iceland, or Ireland?
So what are my tips for traveling solo if that’s something you’d like to try?
Start small. Try eating alone in a restaurant as your first step, choosing a casual eatery first, maybe seated at the bar or the chef’s table. Bring a book or your phone for companionship. Expect to be treated completely normally; it’s just not that unusual anymore. Another small step might be to see a movie or a theatrical performance by yourself. It’s fun to be spontaneous with these smaller adventures. You get to decided where and when you want to go. You can change your mind, and no one gets mad. I once decided that I wanted to see the touring production of The Lion King, but I didn’t have a ticket. I showed up at the box office hoping for a no-show ticket, and while in line, I was approached by someone who needed to sell an extra ticket. Score! I couldn’t have done that as easily with a partner.
Your next step might be to pick a nearby town to explore on a weekend. Pick what interests you. Consider booking an excursion there. Beyond rooms and houses, Airbnb offers excursions, led by locals, and I’ve really enjoyed them. Walk and/or drive the area, eating where the locals eat. Visit museums, shop, take in a concert.
Traveling solo as part of a group trip is another option. I’ve done this numerous times. You get the benefit of the trip being planned and coordinated by the leaders, so there’s much less stress on you. And chances are that you will have a lot in common with the other group members if you all signed up for the same adventure. I’ve never felt out of place in these settings. Even on this latest Backroads trip, I was the only solo traveler, but I was totally accepted into the group.
It took me awhile to get to this point. The desire to travel was just too great to ignore. If that urge is swelling in you, too, there are ways to honor it.
*Backroads is a touring company that specializes in active group tours around the globe. They offer biking, hiking, multi-adventure, and slower tempo tours lasting 4-9 days. Go take a look at their WEBSITE, then order a catalogue and begin to dream!