Some people just have the knack of finding the perfect gifts for others. Some do not. My track record is rather spotty. I had an especially hard time deciding on a gift for my elderly in-laws and my grandmother. They had everything they needed, and their needs were few.
I’m guessing this is how you feel about choosing a gift for a loved one living with dementia. It was certainly dicey for me. I had hits, but what I remember best are the complete fails.
About three years into his disease, I began to get concerned that Harvey, my husband, might wander. He had stopped running, but nothing was stopping him from deciding to take a walk in the neighborhood while I was at work. I worried that he might get lost, or worse, have a medical emergency while out, and not be able to contact me or give instruction to anyone who might try to help. He needed an ID bracelet.
I spent untold hours scouring the Internet looking for just the right type of ID. I knew Harvey would never wear a jangly bracelet. He had always worn a watch and his wedding band, but never any other jewelry.
Eventually I found a company that made thick rubber elastic bands with a metal bar that could be inscribed. It was marketed to runners and other athletes that might have an emergency on the road, maybe even be unresponsive, and, upon being found, information would be readily located on the band. Click HERE if you are interested
This was perfect. It was manly, athletic, and I could customize what information needed to be on it. Too, I realized that my daughters and I needed one for ourselves. What would happen if one of us was out for a run and had an emergency? So I ordered one for each of us as Christmas gifts.
I personalized the ones for my daughters to include my cell phone number, and for mine to have my parents’ home number; I didn’t want EMS to call Harvey in an emergency. For Harvey’s, I included my cell phone number and the line “Memory Impaired.”
When he opened the box and read “Memory Impaired” on the band, he gave me a disgusted look and asked, “What is this for?” I explained that I had gotten one for all four of us for when we were out running or walking. Our daughters played it up, thanking me for theirs, but Harvey was not persuaded and never wore it.
My more successful gifts were items of clothing, and in the last years, stuffed animals, soft blankets, food items, and music from his teenage years.
So here are some other ideas for you to consider: simple crafts that your loved one may have enjoyed in the past such as knitting or painting, adult coloring books and colored pencils, jigsaw puzzles with 25-50 large pieces, robotic pets, or a photo album to look at or to create with help. Remember not to give anything that might be inappropriate such as dangerous tools, complicated electronics, or too advanced puzzles and books. It can be hard to find items that meet the person where they are without seeming too childish. I really like THIS RESOURCE
And don’t forget the caregiver! He or she would likely appreciate help in the form of a meal, help with yard work, or time alone. Making a donation to a charity in the family’s honor is a lovely gesture.